Fatal Desires (Fatal Cross Live! Book 1) Read online

  “Ugh,” I groaned. “Please don’t even start.”

  “The puppy dog eyes from both of you are getting old,” she teased.

  “I…I don’t know what you’re talking about, Rita,” I lied, but she wasn’t fooled.

  “Coraline Maddox…you are a fool if you don’t see that man watching your every move,” she sighed, shaking her head. “When he found you unconscious…he was pale as a ghost. He would’ve given you his heart if you’d needed it. I don’t know what history the two of you have or what the big deal is that you won’t give him a chance, but that man is head over heels in love with you, Cora.”

  “It’s complicated,” I grumbled, lowering my voice so that none of the other crew could hear us talking. “And he is not in love with me.”

  “Well, you need to uncomplicated things,” she scolded. “I think that man would lay the world at your feet if you’d get over whatever it is that is keeping you two at odds.”

  I didn’t reply, but I did nod my understanding and bit my lower lip in concern. Rita was right, and I’d clouded my mind with my anger at him for not answering when I needed him the most. Yes, it still hurt my heart something fierce. I needed to tell him, but he was already gone. I ignored everyone and found my way to my bunk, falling asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow.

  When I opened my eyes again, I heard whispered voices out in the living area of the huge bus. I rolled over and pulled a pillow over my head to drown out the noise. It didn’t take long before I felt myself drifting off to sleep.

  “Cora,” Taylor cooed, touching the side of my face, softly. I knew it was him attempting to wake me, but I was too comfortable to respond. I heard him chuckle when I groaned in my sleep and tried to bat his hands away.

  “Sleep,” I pouted, hoping he’d leave me alone.

  “Come on, sleepyhead,” he chuckled, taking a seat beside me on the mattress. “You need to wake up…I need to talk to you.”

  “No…talking,” I moaned.

  “I brought coffee,” he announced, causing me to open one eye to verify that he brought the drink of the gods to my bedside. “Before you ask, yes…there is vanilla and a bucket load of sugar in there. Do you know that you will probably have diabetes in the next year if you keep drinking your coffee this way?”

  “It’s the way I like it,” I argued, throwing the covers aside. When I opened my eyes fully, Taylor’s green gaze had darkened and his nostrils were flared as he took in my body. I didn’t even try to cover myself. I wore dark purple boy shorts and two tanks tops, doubled for support. At least they weren’t white where my nipples could be seen. These were both black. Obviously, he liked what he saw, because I noticed he shifted his hips into a more comfortable position.

  “You look beautiful,” he declared, holding out his free hand to help me from the bottom bunk. I averted my eyes when I noticed his obvious erection pressing against the front of his dark denim jeans.

  “Thank you for the coffee,” I responded, walking toward the front of the bus. “Hey, where is everyone?”

  “They all headed inside for a bit,” he began, taking a seat at the small kitchen table by the window. “We should talk.”

  “Oh,” I grimaced, taking a seat next to him in the bench seat. “I’m really over what I was mad about, Taylor. Let’s just go on and forget it happened.” His eyes fell dark, and I had a feeling I knew why he’d come.

  “No, Coraline,” he said sadly, his voice deepened. As I turned toward him, I was shocked at the moisture welling up in his eyes. “I want to know why you didn’t tell me that you were pregnant with my child.”

  Chapter 12

  Taylor

  “Because you wouldn’t answer your fucking phone!” Coraline exploded, throwing the mug of coffee in my face. Thankfully, it was already cooled enough to not scald my shoulder where it landed when I turned my head.

  “I’m so sorry, Cora,” I apologized, moving toward her after she bolted from the seat. “I was a selfish asshole, baby. I would’ve been there for you.”

  “But you weren’t, Taylor,” she cried, the tears pouring from her eyes now. She crossed her arms over her ample breasts and paced in front of the couch on the bus. I tried to reach for her, but she jerked her arm out of my reach. “Don’t! Don’t touch me! I…I can’t think when you touch me.”

  “No,” I hollered, stopping her from moving away from me by standing in front of her and crossing my arms to keep her from darting around me to run off the bus. It was my turn to get angry. “You don’t get to block me out, Coraline. I want to know…I deserve to know. Why didn’t you tell me as soon as I got here? Why did you keep avoiding me?”

  “I…I tried to call you several times,” she bawled, lowering her crossed arms to cover her now empty stomach. I wanted to reach out for her and pull her into the safety of my arms. I didn’t want her to suffer any more than she already had, but this suffering I couldn’t protect her from. This was something that I’d done, and I had no idea how to make the agony go away. “You never answered and I figured you were done with me…that you’d only thought of what we did as a one night stand.”

  “It wasn’t,” I whispered, fighting back my own tears at seeing her so upset. It killed me to see her in pain.

  “How was I to know?” she yelled. “I felt like the dirtiest of whores, Taylor! Then I wake up, two weeks after I found out I was pregnant…and…” That was when she collapsed to her knees and I followed her movements, taking her into my arms.

  “I’m so sorry, baby,” I chanted repeatedly into her short hair. “I should’ve answered the phone. There will never be enough apologies in my life to tell you how sorry I am for what I did, Coraline.”

  “I don’t even know if it was a boy or a girl,” she confessed, scrambling up so that she was sitting in my lap on the floor of the bus. I didn’t really care where we were, she could find her comfort in my lap anywhere she wanted. Right now, she kept her still battered face pressed into my chest as she cried.

  “It was too soon, I’m sure,” I added, hoping I was right. “How…How far along were you?”

  “Six...weeks,” she said, taking a deep breath. “I wasn’t even pregnant long enough to get used to the idea that I was going to be a mom.”

  “I’m so sorry,” I choked out, pressing my lips to her forehead.

  “It’s okay,” she whispered, wiping away the fat tears from her red splotched face. She looked beautiful. “I’m fine. I’m going to be fine.” Damn, she was a hard ass woman, not wanting anyone to see her weak side. I would be damned if she hid that side from me.

  “No, it’s not okay,” I replied, cupping her face so that I could make her look into my eyes. “What did the doctor say? Are you okay…physically?” I didn’t even need to ask about her mentally. You just had to look at her to tell something wasn’t right.

  “I’m fine,” she responded, taking a shaky breath. “It was a complete miscarriage. The baby…it wasn’t viable for life. He…she…it wasn’t strong enough. I wasn’t strong enough to carry her.”

  “No, baby,” I gasped, rocking her in my arms. “You were strong. Please don’t think this was your fault.” I kissed the top of her head, repeating phrases of love and strength.

  “Sometimes…I do think it was my fault,” she admitted. “I still wonder.”

  “Did the doctor say you shouldn’t try again?” I had to ask, needing to know the answers…the answers I should’ve been around to hear straight from the doctor who treated her.

  “No,” she said. “He said I was perfectly fine. I should be okay to try again when I’m ready.”

  “Thank God,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry, Cora.”

  We sat in silence for a while, just holding each other. I let her cry on me, keeping watch for anyone that might be heading toward the bus. Kane had sent everyone away and told them not to return to the bus until he gave them the okay.

  We both knew that Coraline would be humiliated if anyone on the crew saw her breakdown. She was the str
ongest woman I had ever met, and she didn’t like to show weakness. Her attack barely more than a day before had taken a toll on her, but she’d powered through her concussion and battered face to show the people she worked with and called family that she was tough enough to keep the show moving.

  Losing herself to an emotional breakdown with me was not what I’d expected, but damn if I wasn’t relieved that she let me in enough to trust me with her fragile heart. Holding her through her tears was something I vowed to do every day for the rest of my life if that was what she needed. Did it mean I loved her? Hell, I didn’t even know how to recognize what love was. I had never been in a normal relationship, ever. I was always too busy partying and sleeping around with any tramp that would let me fall between her legs.

  Almost killing myself by snorting too much cocaine cured me of my partying ways. Feeling like my heart could explode in my chest was the wakeup call I’d needed to change my outlook on life. Seeing my best friends, my bandmates, slowing killing themselves too? Well, we needed a change. It was a miracle that we all made the decision together. Minus our ex-drummer who was now behind bars.

  My drug use over the years came flashing back in a rush. Did the baby not survive because my sperm were fucked up? Fuck! Was this my fault? Coraline was healthy and vibrant and beautiful. There was no way this was her fault. It had to be mine…

  My phone rang, disrupting our moment. I cursed when I saw it was my bandmate and lead singer of Fatal Cross.

  “Hey, Ace,” I said, greeting him with more enthusiasm than I felt. “What’s going on?”

  “Hate to bother you, man, but I needed to let you know,” he sighed. “We just fired Jose.”

  “What? Why?” I asked, shocked at his words. Jose was the guy who’d been our tour manager for the past six years.

  “He was arrested last night,” Ace fumed. “He’s been selling drugs when he wasn’t working for us. Looks like he was deep in the drug trade here in Seattle. They found a few hundred thousand dollars of coke in his house. He’s going to be put away for a long time.”

  “Son of a bitch!” I roared. How many people did we know that had their finger in the very thing we were trying to stay away from? “I swear, we are going to have to start doing drug tests on our crew.”

  “That very thought has crossed my mind,” he agreed. “I called because we need to find a new tour manager, like yesterday, man. We leave for London in two weeks. I know you will be over there already, but I need your help in finding a replacement.”

  My eyes locked with Cora’s and she was already shaking her head, but I ignored her. She’d planned on a lengthy vacation after this tour, but I wasn’t going to let her get away from me this time. She wasn’t going to run…no, not this time. I had to keep a strong hold on her or she’d leave me in her dust as she found a secluded place somewhere on this planet to sulk in her own self-induced exile.

  “I’ll get back to you,” I said, hanging up the phone after a promise to call him back soon.

  “No,” she protested. “I like my quiet time. I need a break, Taylor.”

  “I’m not giving you an option, Cora,” I demanded, using my knuckle to direct her chin back in my direction. She squirmed to get out of my lap, but I locked my other arm around her tightly. She wasn’t going to run from me this time.

  “You can’t make me go,” she cursed. “Taylor, please. Don’t make me…I can’t.”

  “Can’t what?” I questioned, looking deep into those hazel eyes that hid so much, but also showed so much pain.

  “I can’t be around you,” she mumbled softly, tightening the hold around her stomach. “It…hurts too much.”

  “I know it does, baby,” I said, pressing my forehead to hers. I felt her shoulders begin to shake and I knew she was about to break down again. “I’m not asking you, Coraline Maddox. I’m telling you that you will work for me on this next tour. It’s time we work things out. You and I both know that being apart doesn’t work for either of us.”

  “You sound so sure of yourself,” she chimed in, but I saw the relief in her eyes. She was going to cave and come to work for us.

  “You know I’m right,” I flirted, cupping the side of her face. I peered into her eyes and did the one thing that I’d wanted to do ever since I pinned her to the side of the bus when I first got here.

  I finished the kiss I started when she ran away from me.

  Her lips were just as soft and warm as I remembered. There was a salty taste to the bottom one when I bit it to demand she open for me. On her gasp, my tongue invaded her mouth; tasting, plundering, and marking her as mine. She only protested for a second. Once I deepened the kiss, she melted into my embrace. By the time we parted, she was panting just as heavily as I was, her tiny body formed against my chest as if she was made for me.

  “Come on, baby,” I said, kissing the tip of her nose. “Let me feed you and then we can get to work. You have another tour to prepare for.”

  I didn’t give her the option of telling me no.

  Chapter 13

  Coraline

  It was the first night of the tour with Fatal Cross. The band had met up with us the night before to watch Glory Days perform their final show on their tour. Kane and my guys were heading home to be with their wives and to welcome Gabe’s new baby girl into the family.

  Kane had left reluctantly. Doug was still on the run, and my cousin didn’t like the fact that Fatal Cross didn’t have actual security guards on staff. They had their crew, who doubled as crowd control. Kane wanted to leave a guy with me, but Taylor promised that no one would touch me; he swore it on his life.

  Taylor’s band was big, but nothing like my cousin’s band. I had a feeling that they would be thrust into the spotlight in no time at all. If they kept pumping out songs like what were on their newest album, they’d be selling out arenas before the end of the year.

  There was a small crew that worked for Fatal Cross. Three men arrived by way of a rented tour bus just an hour ago. This was the only bus they needed because of how small their crew was that worked for them. We’d all be sharing a bus. There were eight bunks and an extra living space in the back where the bus I was used to riding on had a bedroom.

  When the band arrived, I was passed around with hugs and thanks for saving them by agreeing to work on such a short notice. I didn’t tell them that I didn’t have a choice. Taylor wouldn’t allow me to be anywhere else.

  After my breakdown, we worked side by side in comfortable silence. Nothing else was said about the baby or him not calling. I could tell it still bothered him that he wasn’t there for me when I needed him most. He was more quiet than usual and there was something in his eyes that hadn’t ever been there before…guilt.

  The kiss he’d planted on me, after he told me I was working for them, set my body on fire. All of the work I did to forget Taylor Vaughn was gone after that moment of passion. Now, while I helped set up the stage, I tried my hardest to stay low and not dwell on the spark that fired up when we touched.

  Josh, their sound guy, waved to get my attention. I stretched my back as I climbed out from under Braxton’s kit. The new drummer for Fatal Cross was standing in the shadows, watching us work. Taylor said that the huge guy was a softie, but he honestly scared me when he growled at the other men. He kept a wide birth around me and didn’t speak more than a few one or two word answers.

  “I’m ready for sound check when everyone gets back from eating lunch, Cora,” Josh smiled. I liked this guy. He was older, maybe in his mid-forties, and had been with the band through thick and thin. I’d hung out with him on the tours they’d been on with Glory Days. Josh was the only one who’d stuck around during the hiatus the band took while they all went through drug rehab.

  The other two guys, Liam and Kevin, were brothers and so close in age that they could pass for twins. They were also Josh’s sons. All of the Forrest men were charming and worked as hard as myself. They all sported short cropped black hair. Although, Josh’s had a little gra
y dusting right around his temples. Their sharp blue eyes would melt any woman that crossed their paths, and if it wasn’t for a certain guitarist, I’d be a little flattered at their flirting.

  Taylor, on the other hand, was grumpy as hell at the two sons who were right around my age. If he caught us talking, he grumbled something low and menacing, sending them scurrying away with their tails tucked between their legs.

  “Come on, Josh,” I said. “Let’s go grab something to eat while we have a moment. The boys can pick up where we left off.”

  “You got it, darlin’,” he smiled, draping an arm over my shoulders. “I hope they left us enough.”

  “You never know,” I laughed. “It’s good to see you are still with these guys.”

  “It’s good to have you along for the tour this time,” he grinned, ruffling my hair as we pushed our way into the backstage area. “The other guy wasn’t pulling his weight.”

  “That’s what I hear,” I replied, entering the green room.

  Grant “Ace” Ryker was asleep on the couch, a baseball cap pulled over his eyes. He’d put himself on a self-imposed vocal rest hours before the show, saying he didn’t want to blow his voice out like he’d done in the past.

  Cash Roberts, the bassist, was on the phone with someone, speaking quietly so that he wasn’t heard. Braxton had made his way back, following behind us as we entered the room. He smiled softly at me as he waited until I filled my plate.

  I grabbed a slice of cheese and ham, adding a few grapes to my plate. It shocked me for a moment when Braxton placed his hand on my forearm and said, “You need to eat more than that, little bit. You’re too tiny as it is.”

  It took me a moment to get over the shock of his concern for my eating habits. The man hadn’t paid much attention to me since he arrived earlier in the day. Well, except for making sure I didn’t sabotage his drum kit.

  “Thank you, Brax,” I smiled, giving him his own nickname. “I really don’t eat much.”